Saturday, May 15, 2010

You're not the boss of me!

The first words out of William's mouth most Saturday and Sunday mornings are similar to the following, "Daddy, can I play the Wii?"

William is five. He loves the Wii. Emily, seven, also loves the Wii, but she doesn't have the same level of obsession with the Wii as her younger brother.

More frequently than not, playing the Wii becomes a problem. And typically the problem is one of two things...

For the first 15 minutes or so after the Wii is powered up, Emily and William work as a team while playing Lego Star Wars. At some point a decision has to be made about what door to open or who gets to be what Star Wars character. Then it happens--yelling, screaming, stomping... "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!" William is in tears and Emily decides she doesn't want to play anymore anyway!

The other "thing" that happens is the result of too much Wii. If William plays the Wii for too long, turning the Wii off typically results in a meltdown. William cries and cries and cries...and between the tears he reminds me that he never gets to play the Wii, and "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"

Perhaps a third "thing" is my inability to manage Wii time, but clearly that subject would require more self assessment than I'm willing to dedicate to it at this particular moment...

Santa needs his ass kicked for putting the Wii under the tree in the first place. Fat bastard.

So while having dinner at IHOP tonight (yeah, don't even ask...you can think it, just don't ask it...), William says, "Daddy, can we play the Wii tomorrow?"

Seriously? Are you f'ing kidding me?

Thoroughly annoyed, I try to use some parenting skills that don't involve the words, "I'm going to throw that Wii in the trash!"

Finally, I got it!

"William..." I say, "I think you play too much Wii; that seems to be all you want to do. What's something you could do tomorrow besides playing the Wii?"

William looked at me intently...he gave the matter serious thought for a good 15 seconds...carefully he chose his words before proclaiming, "I know, Daddy!...I could watch TV!"

Shit.